Wednesday, October 14, 2009


It seems like yesterday, I was being all bitchy and angry over things,
actually, I still am but who the hell cares?

On the lighter side of life,

I ve known you for about a decade already,
We had fun as kids calling each other sore losers and then crying,
ah, then we became teenagers and we always argued about the band.
But seriously if you hadn't help me out with a hell load of things I think I wouldn't be here holding up on things.
Sure you may look 19 but you re still a 10 year old to me,
Been through thick and thin,
Been through uncles and aunties talking bout the crap the rest of us do,
Been through that mofo who backstabbed us,
Been through shit. (literally)
I give you,
The one guy who cracks the lamest jokes during awkward moments,
The guy who helped me up when I was down,
The guy who started resemblence,
The guy who can pluck the guitar like he s plucking rambutans,
The guy who crashed the car sending us home,
The guy that writes emotional songs,
The guy who loaned me 10 bucks to eat chicken chop.
He looks serious here,
But when he gets comfortable,
All hell breaks loose



Thursday, September 17, 2009

I think im obsessed over The Beatles,
That's very bad.
Im reading Paul Mccartney's biography,
I feel what he felt,
That's messed up


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I got the remastered version of the Beatles- A Hard Days Night!!! Woo!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009


As the coffin moved slowly into the cremation oven, I broke down, she was my everything, and now she's gone. Her name was Hayley, Hayley Andrews. The girl who helped me when I was down, the girl who gave me my first kiss on my 12th birthday and the girl who left me for a better place.

I remember the first time meeting Hayley, she punched me right in the face just because I overtook her with my tricycle. We were 3 when we first became enemies. Then she fell from her tricycle, being a nice guy, I helped her up. She was crying because of a small cut on her knee. I took her back to her home and told Mrs Andrews everything. Hayley went into the house crying and Mrs Andrews thanked me and gave me a chocolate bar. I skipped home happily. The next day she came up to me and gave me hug and said "thaank youu!''. I blushed and eversince then, we became the best of friends.

I remember going through the four seasons with her, playing in the sand during summer, getting lost in the leaves during autumn, picking flowers together during spring and throwing snowballs in winter. Going through middle school was a drag, but Hayley made everything worthwhile. We would spend the evenings doing our algebra together. Most of the time, I would end up playing her computer and copying her work later. After that we would go down for dinner. Mrs Andrews served the best beef stew and usually I would run home late only to be grounded for the next 3 days. Besides the other guys, she usually stood up for me when the bullies would push me around. I felt secure and safe around her.

When I was 12, I had my first big birthday party, and her gift suprised me. A little peck on the cheek made my day and for the rest of the week. Hayley also seemed to mature faster than the other guys and girls. She found out about the internet and its horrible side, she called me saying '' Ian, why am I bleeding?'', she also had her first crush way before I did. We would talk on the phone from 9 till late. Once, she called me and she was crying on the phone. She had just broken up with her boyfriend. She was 14 and I comforted her the whole night. Not knowing about my phone bill, it went up sky high. But it was okay, since it was my best friend.

Hayley wasn't the heathiest of people. She usually fell sick and had to frequent visits to the doctor. She also had a hole in her heart which affected her until she underwent a surgery to patch it up. I visited her everyday in hospital bringing her favourite books and cd's. I looked out for her when she was discharged, walking her home everyday and making sure she took her medication. But being the stubborn girl she was, she would trick me into buying her licorice before she would take her medication. When she didn't turn up at school, I would run by her house afterthat to ask about her. Mrs Andrews was used to hearing the front door slam open with me running in. She would just smile and go on sewing.

We also had our fair share of arguments and squabbles. There was once where we didn't talk for 3 days just because I made fun of her current boyfriend. Well maybe I went a little bit overboard with the comments but she gave me the cold shoulder until I called to apologise. I couldn't go one day without talking to her or at least having her yell at me for being a stupid boy. But she was there when I needed her.

At 16, I felt different towards Hayley, she was constantly my mind and I would rush to walk her out of class eventhough there were other guys walking along with her. But no matter, she always had time for me. I couldn't explain these feelings, so I kept it to myself. Until one day when we were at out usual hangout place, the park. She sprained her foot and I rushed over to help her. She didn't cry but I could see she was holding it in. It looked pretty bad and she couldn't walk. So I told her to get on my back. She happily did it smirking and telling me that she was really fat compared to the previous years. On the way back, instead of our usual random chats ranging from how I felt like farting at that moment to her toilet being a mess, there was an awkward silence between the both of us. It was different from all the other times I used to carry her on my back. I felt a rush of adrenaline and I wanted to tell her about those weird feelings I've had. Then she asked, ''Ian, why are you so quiet today?'', I just smiled and said ''I don't know, I just feel happy I guess'', and continued walking. When we reached her porch, Mr Andrews was outside and he rushed over to help. But Hayley asked him to wait inside until she called him.
So he went in, and there we were standing outside and before I knew it, she gave me a peck on the cheek. This one felt different from 4 years before. At that point, I knew I had fallen for her and she for me. I ran off without saying a word.

The next day, she didn't turn up at school and when I went to her house, Mrs Andrews said she had been out the whole day. I went home confused, had I hurt her? gave her the wrong impression?. As those questions were dabbling in my head, I heard her voice. She was outside on my porch waiting for me. I ran over took her hand and kissed her. The feeling was unexplainable. At that point I knew, she was the one, actually, she had always been the one. I just never realized it until now. After that night, we were more than just best friends. I felt responsible for her and she meant the world to me.

6 months later, when I went over to her place, to pick her up for a date, Mrs Andrews told me she was still preparing herself upstairs and I waited. Then I heard a thud, as if someone had fallen down. I ran up into her room only to find her unconscious on the floor. She was rushed to the hospital. I never went home and waited throughout the whole operation. When the doctor came out, I saw his expression, his facial tone was not a good one. He told us to be prepared as Hayley's heart was failing due to a blood clot. Her parents broke down while I stood there helplessly praying for her. According to the doctor, Hayley's blood clot started 3 months ago, she never told anyone. I felt so useless not being able to see her pain in the last 6 months. We went into the room. She was awake and smiling waving at me. I couldn't look at her in the eyes. I turned away and went out. She must have understood as she didn't say anything when I walked out. I held my tears back and went in again. She took my hand and said ''Hey, don't be sad, I ll still be here by your side, walking you home from school everyday, kissing you before you go to sleep and watching over you'', I broke into tears and told her I couldn't go on without her. She just kissed me on the forehead and whispered into my ear ''I love you so, so much'', then her hand became cold her eyes closed, she left. Her smile was still there though. Mr and Mrs Andrews broke down grieving. I held her hand closely and said ''I love you so, so much too''.

I never got to tell her how much I loved her. But I will always remember her smile, Hayley had a very unique smile and when she bit her lip it was a sign that she was feeling happy. When she was still around, I never noticed her lip biting, until she told me. She felt contented and I was happy.

Now, all that's left of her is her pictures that are on my table. I lost the one girl whom I thought was the world, she was my everything, my one and only, I still cry over her and tell her I miss her every night before I go to bed. For me now, life has lost its colours. Hayley put them in, and now, she s taken them along with her to a better place.

Her name was Hayley, Hayley Andrews. My Girl.

*P.S. Please comment on this story as I plan to write more. It is purely fictional. Constructive critisism would be great*